Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Loette. She had sought out the church at an early age, and knew in her heart that she wanted to be a preacher’s wife (contrary to popular belief, this is not a mental health condition … *smile*). One bright Sunday morn’, she went to Union Church with her uncle in the small rural town of Goggins. There that day was a young man named Huey Long, named after the governor of Louisiana who his good father admired.

Now Loette spotted Huey in a slick blue suit. And she sure was very much attracted to him. She knew that she was the prettiest girl there that day, and she decided to flirt with this good-looking yet lanky guy. Her true southern divine nature wooed Huey that afternoon. She commented on how her bus schedule always dropped her at a particular spot in Macon in the afternoons. Then both went their separate ways having made no further plans to meet.

Then Monday came, just the next day, and on that particular spot where Loette was dropped each afternoon, awaited Huey. Loette arrived, and there was the beginning of a love story. This story has continued on for 46 years. There has been pain and denial, joy and births, stress and anger, prayer and faith. Even though the community saw their family as the ideal, no one saw the bends and near-breaks that this marriage endured. Yet it endured. Around the bends … avoiding the near-breaks … this love story is now continuing …

Now, there is a second love story to tell. There was an 18-year-old young man named Chuck. It was the Christmas of 1948, and he worked as a cook at a local cafe in Seattle. Then came one day a handsome, striking Scandinavian man named David, eight years Chuck’s senior. There was an attraction and, just as sweet as the southern divine nature of Loette, Chuck used his nature to woo David just the same.

And it worked. The beginning of a love story that started with their belief in a covenant between each other that began on April 6th of 1949. Now this is a different love story. Both young men came from true religious backgrounds. David from Pentecostal roots. Chuck from largely the Episcopalian church.

And this was shortly after WWII. The climate in this bustling American society engulfed their love story as wrong. Yet Chuck and David knew what they felt. Normal, natural feelings that had emanated as far back as both young men could remember into their youth … Chuck as early as four or five.

And though they whispered not a word of this covenant to their families … ever … and though they dared not speak of their covenant to their neighbors … to their community … this covenant remarkably endured in a society that said it was not to be. But was to be … 50 years later, David died of a massive heart attack on April 6th, 1999. Yes, that is right, 50 years from the day they shared their first home.

Now how could this be?

Some of you have already made up your minds. But as with Loette and Huey, there was pain and denial, joy yet much time to themselves, stress and anger, and prayer and faith. Yet even though they knew in their hearts that they were Christians, they never attended church as a couple. Not one time. You see, they did abide by the understanding this country they loved had of them … this country that David served combat during WWII in the Air Force … they abided by the law of the land. Yet their love story endured … silently.

David’s beautiful Scandinavian sister was murdered by her husband during a jealous rage at the Mayflower Hotel. It was David and Chuck who went to identify the body. Chuck’s brother was married six times … so much for the compliment of the sexes. Each of Chuck’s three sisters also had multiple marriages. Yet this love story endured. It endured even as they took Chuck’s parents into their home during the final years of his parents’ life on this blessed earth.

It endured even as they took David’s father into their home during his father’s final years on this blessed earth. Where were the children … the brothers and sisters … who were “normal” and “legit.” This love story endured until the night that David died in Chuck’s arms. 50 years. Virtually no one knew. Now, all knew of the enduring love of Loette and Huey and their four boys. Yet no one acknowledged this love of 50 years. And even after this love story on this blessed earth ended at the early morn’ of their golden anniversary, no one acknowledged the end of this story. Chuck buried his lifemate on Queen Anne Hill without a service. But still Chuck, in his immense pain, sought out the Church that had rejected him and David.

Pain of a soul, mind, heart, body, and life that was ripped from him in one night. Pain that was just as great as any person who has faced the final days of a terminal, slow death. Pain that brought Chuck to a small, struggling church in Everett. There Chuck sought comfort for a grieving heart. And they did not shut their doors.

How can all of this be?

You see, there is this tribe … a small group of people … marginalized from this society … and even disconnected from themselves and each other. This tribe has lost many to the untold oppressions over the centuries. Yet the love story of this tribe has endured. Despite the majority who controlled all power and belief, this tribe of people—male and female, black and white, right- and left-handed, healthy and chronically ill. They endured. This is a love story that is filled with more pain, more tragedy, more angst than the overwhelming majority of this great vastly Christian nation can ever … ever … imagine. The pain was grounded in a belief of six verses in the Great Book of all history. Six verses out of 31,000 verses. Divorced people who divorced not for adultery are welcomed with open arms into almost all churches today, yet we know what the Bible says about them. Yet there are no groups and ministries that seek to convince these people of a sin the Bible states without a doubt in the literal words of Christ. He offers no forgiveness, yet could this be too? Black people have turned a corner with largely the silence of the white church in a little more than three decades. Yet we know that the largest Protestant denomination was formed largely over their protection of the right to own slaves. Women now grace the pulpit from the Methodist church to the conservative Charismatic church. Yet we know what the words of Paul clearly states about the role of the woman in the Church.

The tribe here is scattered unlike the tribe of the Hebrews. Scattered silently in the Church. Gathered at times flamboyantly in small closely-knit communites in large cities. The rest of the others are scattered elsewhere simply blending quietly into the surroundings of a suburban neighborhood, into a relationship of 35 years as one couple in Yakima relays to this writer. Silently. Yet this tribe endures. Because they have no choice. It is imprimpted from the conception of sperm and egg. A mystery that no one probably can ever prove. But neither can we prove that the big tribe is who they say they are … heterosexual. Sexual orientation … not male and female. There is a difference this great country with all its wealth and power still refuses to accept despite the testimony of the lives of millions. Most of this great, big tribe are good, religious citizens who are told by their leaders that orientation is a choice and the Good Book clearly states its position. Yet we know reason and experience has led to further revelation revelations in the Good Book. If not, then why has the Church changed so dramatically and why all the fuss over what truth really is.

There is a 33-year-old man named George. His “mommer” and dad are a love story. He grew up on the first bench in the House of God. Silently, he grew as a member of this scattered tribe. Parents not knowing for most of his life. Brothers barely realizing the immense pain that his soul carried yet not fully willing to acknowledge or change their old view. This they say due to reality of their own busy lives, but how can they not acknowledge the testimony of this young fellow. What if their child is gay? Yet this young man endured. Survived.

And his love story began on November 27th, 1987, when in a dramatic but quiet way, he entered into salvation with Christ on the side steps of a student Pentecostal chapel in Athens. There began a person who was forever changed. Entered into a covenant of grace that has and will always endure. A love story that despite the grief of his Father over the pain this boy went and goes through against the natural will of his Father … this love story endures. This one member of this scattered tribe … disconnected from his people until George was 31 and a half. He refused to give up his faith.

And this love story of a young man, now a grown, wounded man … it has endured. It endured because it was of a nature not of George’s own. It was a nature that embraced George’s nature and that Divine One embedded his very own Spirit into the depths of George’s being just as deep as the depths of George’s inheritance as a member of this scattered tribe.

And despite the pain and confusion served directly at the hands of the Church George loved, this love story endured. And when George came out of his shadow, he still sought the Church. Not because the Church opened their doors, but because the Church was embedded deep within the depths of his being.

Yet this is a different love story quite unequal in the reciprocation of the love between the two. The Divine One loved George so much that He gave His own son to find George. The Divine One loved George so completely that He made George in the One’s image.

On the other hand, George has loved this One brilliantly at times, purely at times. Yet so much of the time, George remained on the periphery … not in the bosom of the One’s center. George loved weakly at times because he was told that was all he could do. Even since George came out of his shadow and joined his people … of this scattered tribe, George has loved his One and only true love thus far in his life … inconsistently and at times, unfaithfully, and through deep pain.

The Divine One was faithful at all times. How could this be when George was not … when George was one of this scattered tribe that most of the Church still says cannot be. How could this be despite the daily evidence of fruits produced as he lived in the life of the Divine One.

How could this be? The Divine One, could it be? The love of a Father and Mother of us all. The grace of the Divine and of a Truth that all people seek after but yet will always be somewhat elusive.

How could this be? Maybe because it is. And the bride of Christ has failed the Divine One’s love of this scattered tribe. Yet its love story endures.

In the name of the Father and Mother God, in the name of the Christ the Son, Savior, and Lord, and in the name of the embedded Spirit Ghost that abides within, I write. I am George.

Loving one another, working together, the kinds of work we are supposed to be doing together as Christians, the kinds of strife-filled conduct we are to avoid and the kind of loving contact we are to emulate.

My personal belief is that sexual minorities seeking a relationship with Jesus, coming to know God and the Holy Spirit and contributing to the life of the Church are doing what we are taught to do.

Those in the Church who seek to exclude sexual minorities from participation in the life of the Church are creating strife, which we are called to work against. Our enemies are not one another, our enemy is the Adversary, and we are to fight him, not each other.

I don’t think the onus is on sexual minorities to prove that they are loved and accepted. I think the onus is on the people causing division, contention, struggles, and strife to stop what they are doing and become more inclusive because those actions are prohibited far more frequently than references to homosexuality are even made.

To illustrate that point, here’s a list (from notes I made to myself for a different purpose) of qualities/characteristics mentioned in the New Testament that we are to emulate, and ones we are to avoid (pardon my idiosyncratic capitalization, punctuation, verb tenses, etc.):

We are to emulate: Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control. Reverence, Wisdom, Understanding, Courage, Knowledge, Wonder, Right Judgment (from Isaiah). Comfort, Fellowship (with God and Brethren), Confidence, Consolation, Affection, Meekness, Humility, Obedience, Longing (for Brethren), Righteousness from God by Faith, Pressing On, Forgetting those Things which are Behind and Reaching Forward to those Things which are Ahead, Beloved (Brethren), Be Anxious for Nothing, Prayer, Supplication, Thanksgiving. Meditate on Things which are: True, Just, Pure, Lovely, of Good Report, Praiseworthy. And You Who Once Were Alienated And Enemies In Your Mind By Wicked Works, Yet Now HE Has Reconciled. Encouraged. Knit Together in Love. Tender Mercies. Bearing with One Another, and Forgiving One Another. Singing. Giving Thanks. Speech with Grace. Exhort. Aspire to Lead a Quiet Life. Mind (Our) Own Business. Be Sober. Pure Heart, Good Conscience, Sincere Faith. Hospitable. Integrity / Compassion. Willing To Yield. Patient. Pray Earnestly. Honor All People. Fear God. (Be) Chaste. (Be) Tenderhearted, Courteous, Not Returning Evil For Evil. Refrain Tongue from Evil. Turn Away From Evil and Do Good. Seek Peace and Pursue It. Casting Our Care Upon God. Virtue, Perseverance. Repentance. Steadfastness. Forbearance. Diligence, Fervent in Spirit, Rejoicing in Hope, Patient in Tribulation, Continuing Steadfastly in Prayer. Bless Those Who Persecute Me. Being Persecuted Endure. Being Defamed Entreat. Love Edifies.

We are to avoid: (Being) Terrified by (Our) Adversaries. Complaining, Disputing. False Humility. Anger, Malice, Blasphemy, Filthy Language out of (Our) Mouth. Lies. Hatred, Contentions, Jealousies, Outbursts of Wrath, Selfish Ambitions, Dissentions. Conceited, Provoking. Being Past Feeling. Bitterness. Whispering, Backbiting. Violent, Undiscerning, Untrustworthy, Unmerciful, Approving of Those who do the Same. Not Obeying the Truth. Obeying Unrighteousness, Indignation, Wrath, Tribulation and Anguish. Wrath, Doubting. Greedy. Quarrelsome. Covetous. Quick Tempered. Foolish and Ignorant Disputes. Strife. Boasting, Proud, Disobedient, Unthankful, Unloving, Unforgiving, Slandering, Brutal, Headstrong. Speaking Evil of (Anyone). Foolish, Envy, Hateful, Hating One Another. Foolish Disputes, Contentions. Partiality, Hypocrisy. Self-Seeking. Boasting. Arrogance. Grumbling Against One Another. Presumptuous, Self-Willed, Bringing Reviling Accusations, Speaking Evil of the Things (We) Do Not Understand. Forsaking the Right Way and Going Astray. Speaking Great Swelling Words of Emptiness. Turning from the Holy Commandment Delivered to (Us). Scoffing. Willfully Forgetting. Do Not Avenge (Ourselves). Behave Rudely. Dishonor. Deceit.

Anyway, here are some verses I found encouraging us to tolerate one another, avoid strife, and work together in different ways. I (****ed) the ones I particularly like. Many of the quotes are long, but there are gems inside.

***For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

***Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving of one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4: 29-32

*For though we walk in the flesh we do not walk according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but might in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. Do you look at things according to their outward appearance? If anyone is convinced in himself that he is Christ’s, let him consider this in himself, that just as he is Christ’s, even so we are Christ’s. For even if I should boast somewhat more about our authority, which the Lord gave us for edification and not for your destruction, I shall not be ashamed. 2 Corinthians 3-5; 7-8

***And you who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled. Colossians 1:21

*But now you yourselves are to put off all of these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Colossians 3:8

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Colossians 3:12-16

***For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep we should live together with Him. Therefore comfort one another, just as you also are doing. And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the faint hearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophesies. Test all things. Hold fast to what is good. Thessalonians 5:9-23

I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. 1 Timothy 2:8

***If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who supposed godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. 1 Timothy 6:3-6

***But you, O man of God, flee from these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:11

***For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

***But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:23-26

Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:2

****In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, sound incorruptibility; sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say to you.*****  Titus 2:7-8

***But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless. Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self condemned. Titus 2:9-11

… to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing humility to all men. Titus 3:2

*Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord; looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. Hebrews 12:14-15

***So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19

***If anyone among you thinks he is righteous, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. James 1:26

***But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grape vine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. James 3:8-13

***But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable; gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits; without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17-18

***Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge one another? James 4:10-12

***Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door! James 5:9

(This is how we are meant to work together):  Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:13-16

Therefore, having laid aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby. 1 Peter 2:1

**For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men – as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the King. 1 Peter 2:15-17

****Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For, “He who would love life / And see good days / Let him refrain his tongue from evil / And his lips from speaking deceit / Let him turn away from evil and do good / Let him seek peace and pursue it / For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous / And his ears are open to their prayers / But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”  And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake; you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.”  But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear, having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed**** . 1 Peter 3:8-16 (Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, as they say)

Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 1 Peter 4:16

***Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 1 Peter 5:6-9

***But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self control, to self control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is short sighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed of his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-11

*But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:11

***And this is His commandment; that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.*** 1 John 3:23-24

****Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at this time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has sent for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this; that we may
have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. 1 John 4:7-21

***Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?*** 1 John 5:1-4

If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater; for this is the witness of God which He has testified of His Son. 1 John 5:9

He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. 1 John 5:12

***And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life. 1 John 5:20

***This is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it. 2 John 1:6

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 1:4

I am the living bread which came down from Heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world. John 6:51

I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life. John 8:11

You judge according to the flesh; I judge no one.
John 8:15

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34-5

If you love Me, keep My commandments. John 14:15

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit shall remain. John 15:16 (See Matthew 7:16 – You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles?)

Therefore you now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. John 16:22

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16.33

Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; for I am with you, and no one will attack you to hurt you; for I have many people in this city. Acts 18:9-10

First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer a gift. Matthew 5:24

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:11

Hi! For those of you who don’t know me very well, or know my history with Wallingford, I was figuring this out in order to speak here and I realized that I’ve been attending here for about thirteen years, which, wow, astounds me. And, for a number of those years I was very active in the Reconciling Committee here at Wallingford. I could talk for a really long time, I’m sure you’d love that, [laughter] about the many many ways that this community has been so important to me for those years, not just in a reconciling sense, but I’ll stick to the reconciling sense right now.

When Jim asked me to speak, I have to admit I was reluctant, not just because I would have to get up and speak in front of everyone, but there was this part of me, and I wondered about it and kinda thought a lot about it, that feels like a little kid having to take a bath. You know, like, “I don’t want to talk about reconciling!”

And I thought, “What’s that all about?” And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I like to come here and pretend sometimes. Pretend that this isn’t such a special place.

I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of having to provide evidence to the rest of the world that people who are gay like me are okay people. I’m tired of, really tired of, hearing an argument over whether or not I’m worthy to marry someone that I love. I’m tired of the label of “lesbian” defining me as a person to a lot of society. And so, I think what’s important to me is that I can come here and not be gay. [laughter]

Well, I’m gay, but … Okay, no, that was wrong .. Okay, yes, I’m gay, but that is not who I am.

I feel so fortunate to be in a place where I am myself. Being gay is a part of who I am but it is not what defines me, and as [we’ve heard today], we don’t keep track; we don’t take notice; we are just ourselves.

I’m blessed to be here because I can be everything that I am without having fear. I can work with youth and never, never be worried that parents are going to be concerned about the safety of their children with me, of how I might influence or harm their children.

Here I know that I could have my own children and be held up by this community as a worthy parent.

This is the one place outside of my home or my friends’ homes where I know that I can put my arm around someone that I love and not be afraid, and feel safe with that.

Here I know that I could marry whomever I choose regardless of what courts and lawmakers and politicians try to decide what, in their minds, is right. I know that I could marry who I want and be supported by this community in that marriage without a question.

Outside of here those things are always in the back of my mind as concerns. They don’t rule my life in any way, but they are always there. And this is the one place that I can come where those things do not have to be in my mind.

So I think I’m a little reluctant to talk because this is a blissful ignorance to be here. To celebrate reconciliation—maybe I don’t want to acknowledge that because it means there is more to be reconciled, and sometimes I like to just pretend that this is my world. This is the one place in my life where I can see an example of what it would be like to be free of that fight.

So, thank God for the people who have the energy to fight that fight right now. I’m sure that one day I’ll be charged up again. I’ll get that activism back. But for now it is a real blessing to me to have a place where I can come and rest for a while.

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The first surprise was our conception of what it meant to have a church that would welcome other gay people to Wallingford. Perhaps a notion of gay people was that single gay men and lesbians from Capitol Hill would go to bars late Saturday night and then early Sunday morning on their way home would stop and have worship with us. [laughter]

The first pleasant surprise was all the gay families that came to raise their kids at Wallingford. Surprise number one.

Surprise number two would be, if you remember busing in the 60s and 70s, there was talk about what number of gay people would make us into a gay church and all the straights would want to leave. I think the pleasant surprise now is that nobody has a number for how many gay members we have here … it never gets tallied, it never really comes up. We’ve never had to deal with “when will all the straight people leave because they feel uncomfortable?” Pleasant surprise number two.

Maybe a third surprise would be, well, when will we know when the first gay person comes to Wallingford? [laughter]

I’ll try not to mention too many names here … a dear heart who was just about the first gay person to walk through the door … had a wonderful magenta swish in his blond hair. We were quite a small congregation at the time and we all knew who we knew walking through the door and who was a stranger. And [this guy] came in several Sundays after we were announced in the Seattle Gay News and came in and sat down next to one of our cuter, hunkier, straight ex-Marine Republicans in the congregation. And he sat through the whole service and, when it came time for the Passing of the Peace, he and [the ex-Marine] hugged each other warmly and they got along famously from that moment on. Surprise number three.

Surprise number four was a discussion we had with a friend who said “I’m really worried about public displays of affection, and those gay people put their arms around each other in church!” Sometimes they would say then, “What are you going to do about that?” I think it can be reported now that Wallingford has a higher ratio of non-gay people who put their arms around each other in church than any other congregation in United Methodism! [laughter] Another pleasant surprise.

Sometimes I am pretty clueless and narrow in my vision. If we were in a discussion I would never have been able to anticipate that one of the many gifts of becoming a Reconciling Congregation was all the non-gay families who would want to bring their kids here, to raise their kids in such a faith community. Another amazing surprise to me.

And I think maybe one of the last points that we have noticed—another richness that we have—is that we are no longer a homogeneous liberal Protestant local church. I think we have noticed as the years have gone by, and we look to either side of us in the pews, we have more and more people who attend Wallingford who come with conservative, who come with traditional, who come with a wide range of theological backgrounds, many of whom have been driven out of their traditional conservative churches because of homophobia, or hatred, or discrimination, and come and still bring very valuable personal images, metaphors, and understandings with them, and we’re the richer for it.

And it pushes us; our essence is not that we’re a liberal congregation, our essence has become clear to more and more people that it’s not being a liberal congregation, it’s being a faith and justice community, and it’s been transforming as well.

Every one of you is a surprising gift for the 20 years that we’ve been a faith and justice community together. Wallingford is a wonderful gift, and it’s a gift that keeps giving. Thank you. [applause]

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I want to tell you that back 20 years ago we didn’t have the governing body of this church that we have now. It was called an administrative board, and they were the governing body.

One night a fellow approached us and said “How about you people thinking about becoming a Reconciling Congregation?” We all said immediately “What’s that?” So he explained it to us and we began discussing around the table.

I was quiet, mulling over what he had said, and our pastor at the time said, “Why are you so quiet?” (I was a lay leader so she expected me to say something, I guess.)

I said “Oh, I’m just thinking the situation over.”

“Well, what do you think?”

And I said “I think we don’t have a choice. We have to open the doors.”

“Well, why?”

“Because Christ said, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” And I believe that firmly.

Well, in those days we had what they called “discussion circles.” The whole church split up with different tables, for a couple of weeks as I remember, with a leader from the administrative board with each of those groups, to discuss with them how they felt about it—because we are a democracy.

Well, we took that all back to the board, and the board said, unanimously, “We will open our doors.”

Well, the pastor said, “You’re gonna lose some members if you do this.”

And I said, “Better to lose a few members than to lose a part of your soul.”

Well, five people I know individually that left; four of them were very prejudiced against anybody that was different than them—this included color, too.

[The other one] was a psychiatrist. And he informed me that he was going to leave the church because he felt that all of these people could be changed through counseling. And as I knew he was leaving, I said, “Well, I got one thing to say to you. Goodbye.” [laughter]

Which wasn’t very nice, but who is perfect? So I say to you now, after that 20 years, go and love your neighbor. It’s the best thing you can do. [applause]

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