Reconciling Stories

This story was told in November 2004 at Wallingford United Methodist Church at a service celebrating the 20th anniversary of the church becoming a Reconciling Congregation.

I want to tell you that back 20 years ago we didn’t have the governing body of this church that we have now. It was called an administrative board, and they were the governing body.

One night a fellow approached us and said “How about you people thinking about becoming a Reconciling Congregation?” We all said immediately “What’s that?” So he explained it to us and we began discussing around the table.

I was quiet, mulling over what he had said, and our pastor at the time said, “Why are you so quiet?” (I was a lay leader so she expected me to say something, I guess.)

I said “Oh, I’m just thinking the situation over.”

“Well, what do you think?”

And I said “I think we don’t have a choice. We have to open the doors.”

“Well, why?”

“Because Christ said, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” And I believe that firmly.

Well, in those days we had what they called “discussion circles.” The whole church split up with different tables, for a couple of weeks as I remember, with a leader from the administrative board with each of those groups, to discuss with them how they felt about it—because we are a democracy.

Well, we took that all back to the board, and the board said, unanimously, “We will open our doors.”

Well, the pastor said, “You’re gonna lose some members if you do this.”

And I said, “Better to lose a few members than to lose a part of your soul.”

Well, five people I know individually that left; four of them were very prejudiced against anybody that was different than them—this included color, too.

[The other one] was a psychiatrist. And he informed me that he was going to leave the church because he felt that all of these people could be changed through counseling. And as I knew he was leaving, I said, “Well, I got one thing to say to you. Goodbye.” [laughter]

Which wasn’t very nice, but who is perfect? So I say to you now, after that 20 years, go and love your neighbor. It’s the best thing you can do. [applause]

(this story has been edited for length and to remove names)